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Letter from the ghetto tourist.
Colin,
So both my husband and I are college graduates. He has a masters in social work and I have a degree in communications. We both come from upper middle class families, him from the Boston area and me from Scottsdale. We met in college and I was instantly taken with him, his romantic progressive approach to life, his brains and his energy. I still love him very much.
Since we had both lived such sheltered life and since he was getting his Masters in social work we both agreed that we needed to experience life at the other end of the spectrum and after he graduated we moved to one of the absolute worst sections of town in one of the worst cities in the country.
My husband was able to get a decent job as a victims advocate working for the county and I had a really good job working in job placement but the funding was cut for my program so I haven’t worked since I got pregnant (which has actually been a blessing).
We have lived here for 18 months and we have seen and heard everything that is possible. Murders, robberies, bodies lying in the street, power outages, garbage not picked up for weeks at a time… basically any symptom of urban blight and we have experienced it.
I have been assaulted and groped twice while trying to get into our building and I actually feel fortunate that is the worst that has happened. As much as I hate to say this, as two (now three) white people, we absolutely stand out and I believe the only reason we haven’t experienced worst is people probably know that the police will descend on this neighborhood like the Calvary if something were to happen to us. Which in itself is very sad commentary of the situation of the inner city.
We had our son about six months ago. My husband always promised me that we would move once he came because he knows how afraid I am to live here. I had essentially become a hermit that doesn’t leave our apartment which sucks and I feel like I’m losing my mind, especially with a six month old baby. As much as he promised, every time I brought up moving he would tell me that he had a really important case (true) that he was working and that if he left the neighborhood his “clients” would lose faith in him and see him as another slum tourist just earning a check. I appreciate that he is telling the truth, however about six weeks ago I decided that I was going to lose my mind and decided to take our son and stay with my parents in Arizona until my husband could move. I hate to admit this as well, but I am finally sleeping at night because I feel like I can relax and not working what may or may not be flying through our window.
On Friday he sort of put an ultimatum on me that he missed me and our son and that I needed to come back home. I said that I would but I needed a guarantee that we would be moving soon (end of summer was my date) because both my physical and mental health were suffering in the apartment. Out of the blue he started screaming at me…and I mean screaming…he called me a racist, he said that I was a typical middle class white b** who couldn’t handle the true nature of the world and was “turning a blind eye to reality.” I let him rant for a really long time and just sort of banked his insults until I could calmly respond that I feel like I had done my time living in the inner city and as much as I agree with that we both have been spoiled by our childhood I had to consider our son now and that he should as well. He slammed the phone down and as much as I wanted to, I resisted the urge to call him and tell him that I would be contacting a lawyer on Tuesday.
Since then he has called me dozens of times, texted me I don’t know how many…all basically saying how sorry he was and that he was out of his head on Friday because one of his clients went back to living with her abusive mother and step father and there was nothing he could do about it and he was very frustrated. I have yet to respond to his calls or texts. He also called my dad under the auspices of just making sure our son and I were safe, which my dad said we were and that I would call when I was ready. In none of these messages has he said that he would do whatever it takes to do the one thing I want…move to a safer place.
The thing is I don’t need to be called names, I don’t need to feel guilty for thinking of my baby’s safety and the truth is I have lived in this neighborhood a long time and have both physical and mental trauma to show for it. My heart breaks for the people who don’t have the choice to leave the situation and I honestly don’t know how to reconcile that with the fact that I can leave but I have to think my kid’s safety and I’m heartbroken that my husband can’t appreciate this.
The question I have is simply this, is it time to call a lawyer and get the divorce proceedings underway?
I’ve lived in a terrible neighborhood with my husband for about 18 months and want to leave for the safety of our baby. He called me racist as well as a dozen other names for wanting this. Is it time to leave him?
xx
About the Author
Colin Flaherty is an award winning reporter and author of the #1 best selling book White Girl Bleed a Lot: The Return of Racial Violence to America and How the Media Ignore it.
His new book is Knockout Game a Lie? Aww, Hell No.
Both books are about black mob violence, black on white crime and the Knockout Game.
His work has appeared in more than 1000 news sites around the world, including the New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Time Magazine. His story about how a black man was unjustly convicted of trying to kill his white girlfriend resulted in his release from state prison and was featured on Court TV, NPR, The Los Angeles Times and San Diego Union-Tribune.
Thomas Sowell: ”Reading Colin Flaherty’s book made painfully clear to me that the magnitude of this problem is greater than I had discovered from my own research. He documents both the race riots and the media and political evasions in dozens of cities.” – National Review.
Sean Hannity: White Girl Bleed a Lot “has gone viral.”
Allen West: “At least author Colin Flaherty is tackling this issue (of racial violence and black on white crime) in his new book, White Girl Bleed a Lot: The Return of Racial Violence to America and How the Media Ignore it.“
Los Angeles Times: “a favorite of conservative voices.”
Daily Caller: “As the brutal “knockout” game sweeps across the U.S., one author isn’t surprised by the attacks or the media reaction. Colin Flaherty, author of the book “White Girl Bleed A Lot: The Return of Racial Violence to America and How The Media Ignore It,” began chronicling the new wave of violence nearly a year ago — revealing disturbing racial motivations behind the attacks and a pattern of media denial.”
Alex Jones: “Brilliant. Could not put it down.”
Neal Boortz: “Colin Flaherty has become Public Enemy No.1 to the leftist media because of his research on black culture of violence.”
From the Bill Cunningham show. It is official: “Colin Flaherty is a great American.A wonderful book.”
Breitbart.com: “Prescient. Ahead of the News. Garnering attention and sparking important discussions.”
David Horowitz: “A determined reporter, Colin Flaherty, broke ranks to document these rampages in a book titled, White Girl Bleed A Lot”
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